i was eating the ugali fredrick made me for lunch and i looked at my calendar on the wall and said to myself, "it feels like i should be doing something.." then i got up from the table and looked- i had written that i had spanish at 1. it was like 12:30 and it takes 20 minutes to get to spanish, so i gathered my things and told fredrick that i had spanish and i had to go. so we locked my door and i called my ride and waited. i was thinking and i'm pretty sure kristi nome is looking at my facebook timeline because of a picture of the graffiti i took a picture of yesterday when coming back from work. someone sprayed "HANG NOME AND SMITH".. i found it funny because that'd be like what they've caused a lot of people to have done to them/or killed them in another way- so it'd be like giving them a taste of their own medicine. then i see today that someone with an account with kristy nome's name is looking at my account. i better not get in trouble for that shit- ALL i did was simply make an observation with my camera on my cellphone. it's not like I sprayed that shit on the wall (even if i did find it amusing), there's NO possible way I could physically get my little ass up on that wall and spray paint that on the wall. it was smart but something i wouldn't be physically capable of doing. if they would for some reason deport me- I'D BE ALL FOR IT! A REASON TO RELOCATE! THAT WAY I'D HAVE TO MOVE AND AMANDA AND MY MOM COULDN'T STOP IT BY NOT ASSISTING ME TO GET THE APPROPRIATE RESOURCES TO DO SO. MAGA AMANDA! YOU VOTED FOR THIS SHIT!
i've made the decision to look at other places besides new york and i'm actually making an iniative to move my ass (seeing as i AM capable of doing it- i've already moved to 3 different locations when it comes to living in this opportunity-less state- seeing as the person my grandma CLAIMED would help me- just neglects me and my goals because she tells everyone i'm too dumb and handicapped to do it on my own). so i got a response email/letter dated yesterday's date stating that if i didn't get back to the housing company with the information they wanted in 10 days- my name would be taken off the waiting list. i forwarded my trustee this email yesterday when i got it AND left my trustee a voicemail requesting this information AGAIN reminding her how irresponsible it would be of her NOT to provide the information they requested BY THE DEADLINE. they asked me for some other information while my trustee was getting the tax information to her and zen and abdul claimed they couldn't help me if my trustee didn't get the tax information to the company. i'm telling my trustee that if she doesn't get this tax information to the appropriate people by the 17th of this month- she can find a new job along with amanda acting as my "advocate". you dicks think that i'm some kind of mentally disabled pawn that you can use and step on whenever it's fucking convenient to you. i'm also telling the only person that really seems to give a fuck about me psychologically if you asses continue to try to cause my life to go in regression or weigh me down so i can be as unaccomplished and negative as amanda and my mom.. i say unaccomplished about amanda because she doesn't wanna help anyone else progress with their lives ESPECIALLY if it inconveniences her perfect lame life. my grandma assumed that amanda would actually help me because she assumed she had her own hair salon- so she'd be knowledgable economically.. well- my grandma was OBVIOUSLY getting naive at her old age, she failed to pay attention to the fact that amanda never really was in my life enough to really know ME and actually have the desire to help me (in a way which wasn't just beneficial/convenient to HER). there's no way she could really help me in the way I want because it's inconvenient for her. i still remember my grandma saying to me a couple times on the phone, pleading for me to have the desire to move somewhere else besides new york and now that i finally figure out somewhere else- PEOPLE CONVENIENTLY JUST FUCKING IGNORE IT. she did NOT tell me that i SHOULD waste my fucking life in THIS particular state. she was even supportive when my uncle todd moved to WYOMING. this really isn't any fucking different considering i have the resources and i found the appropriate resources to do it but close-minded lame IGNORANT jackasses don't seem to want to simply hand over the proper information to help me move. you people think you're smart. well guess what? WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT IN LIFE TO LOSE BECAUSE IT WAS ALL TAKEN FROM YOU IN AN ACCIDENT- YOU DON'T REALLY SEEM TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING. HAVEN'T YOU GENIUSES EVER HEARD THAT A PERSON WITH NOTHING TO LOSE IS THE MOST DANGEROUS PERSON? THAT'S WHERE I AM. HELP ME IN THE WAY I WANT OR I WILL MAKE MY AND YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL. "OH BUT SHE'S TOO STUPID! SHE'S MENTALLY DISABLED AND ALL TALK!" we'll fucking see. i just got off the phone with someone from this apartment and they wanted to know what size my toilet seat cover was so they could order some toilet risers and they said the other modifications i requested were rejected by this aparment management company because they got a call from the housing company i'm talking to about me moving, so they don't wanna drill anything in the wall and make modifications if i'm going to be moving anyway. i said, "well i'm not POSITIVE i'm moving because my trustee hasn't even provided the APPROPRIATE INFORMATION to the housing company.. she's DRAGGING HER FEET WHEN THEY GAVE ME TEN DAYS TO GET THE APPROPRIATE INFORMATION TO THEM." so this ALL rests on my financial worker. the thought that if brian was still my trustee- HE'D HAVE HAD THIS TAX INFORMATION TO THE HOUSING COMPANY YESTERDAY. my life continues to DIGRESS.. i'm not progressing to where I wanna be in life. THANKS FOR NOTHING AMANDA. I'LL DIE AN UNACCOMPLISHED DISABLED BUM JUST LIKE YOU'RE AIMING FOR ME TO BE. LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER. THIS IS WHAT YOU FUCKERS GET NOT HELPING ME GET WHERE I WANT TO BE IN LIFE AND IT AIN'T GONNA GET BETTER IF YOU DICKS CONTINUE TO BE UNHELPFUL, SELFISH PRICKS. YOU MORONS STILL THINK MY MOM CAN'T READ- I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.. SHE CAN READ WHEN SHE FUCKING FEELS LIKE IT. SHE SEEMS TO KNOW WHAT I SAY ON MY BLOG. MY PSYCHOLOGIST SAID THAT MY SISTER PROBABLY READS IT TO HER- THAT'S A POSSIBILITY BUT WHEN MY MOM HAS PERSONALLY SPOKE TO ME ABOUT SOMETHING I SAID ON MY BLOG- I GOT THE FEELING THAT SHE READ IT PERSONALLY. YOU CHOOSE MY BEHAVIOR TO YOU. I GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE. NOW YOU CAN LAUGH WITH DUSTIN AGAIN ABOUT HOW I THINK I'M GONNA MOVE. i thought family was supposed to be "CARING" and "SUPPORTIVE". not inconsiderate, selfish asses.
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